obfuscated girl

in brief, or: i swear by my pretty floral bonnet, i will end you.

1. My sister called me this afternoon to tell me that someone called her boyfriend last night to ask if he could get some weed for Zach Braff and Rachel Bilson--you know, SUMMER FROM THE O.C.--because evidently they are in my hometown filming a movie. Alas, he had none.
2. I am--or choose to believe I am--responsible for the fact that my local video store is now carrying Firefly. After a ten minute conversation had with the counter geek about how fantastic it is and how the only place I've ever been able to find it is, of all places, the Blockbuster in West Allis and how they're making a movie of it and blah blah--and the next two times I show up consecutively they are watching it, and now they are CARRYING IT. Joss Whedon, you owe me $1.60 in royalites when the two gentlemen working behind the counter go see Serenity.

i am a leaf on the wind...

If I have been absent lately, it is because I have been running around (and probably spending too much money considering I am out of a job) seeing this AND IT'S NOT EVEN OUT YET AND IT AND I IS AND AM AWESOME, renting this with alarming frequency, and, most of all, promoting & preparing for this:

We have word that at least one of the members of Temper Temper is dressing up. i am excitable as all hell, especially given the fact that because it is an indie rock prom I can wear sneakers with my thexy thexy dreth. I recently spent two days in Chicago having my feet killed by a pair of five-inch-tall sandals, and my feet are cut up so bad as a result that I have no tolerance for cute but impractical footwear anymore.
Truth be told, I am trying to cut down on my internets time drastically again. There has been messageboard drama in certain places I post to and I have realized that, fuck, it's sunny outside, and I am going to argue with some fifteen year old dude in Ohiowa about the relative merits of the Strokes for three hours a day and some chick in NY who thinks I draw too much attention to myself? Get the fuck out.
No, seriously, why are you still reading this?

also

bash.org=possibly greatest website known to man.

#23396 +(18085)- [X]

HEY EURAKARTE
INSULT
RETORT
COUNTER-RETORT
QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
RIPOSTE
ADDON RIPOSTE
COUNTER-RIPOSTE
COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

#261501 +(5739)- [X]

the "bishop" came to our church today
he was a fucken impostor
never once moved diagonally

#104383 +(5479)- [X]

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

oh my god.

Janeane Garofalo, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

You used to be so awesome.
Did you really need the money that bad? Honey, I don't have much, but I could help you out. Did things really get that bad after Team America? Seriously, and Swoosie Kurtz is, like, inhuman. If this is really, really something you feel you need to do, I understand, but just know that there are so many other ways....

because

also? spoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.

I Turn My Camera On video. Obligatory w00t Britt Daniel is purdy and shit comment here.

for the five people who read this in the MKE area and do not read it because they are keeping tabs on their mortal enemy:

Tiny Genius Productions Presents: SOFTCORE PROM: ONE NIGHT UNDER THE INFLUENCE
(because why did your prom suck, people? Because you couldn't drink. At least not so much with the legally.)
DATE: JULY 1, 2005
PLACE: Onopa Brewing Company, Milwaukee, WI
TIME: TBA, most likely between 8 and 10
FEATURING: DJ sets by DJ Diamonds, K.Ro, and performances by Def Harmonic (um, possibly performing under a different name; I am not the well-connected half of the Tiny Geniuses) and Temper Temper (I am aware that as of this moment their MySpace page says TBA Fond du Lac for July 1; THEY LIE)
REQUIRED: fabulousnessosity. This is not just a Temper Temper show. You all gots to turn OUT with the turn out. This is PROM.
PS. if you show up in formal wear there will most likely be some sort of drink/monetary incentive; that is also TBD. If you show up in regular clothes, you will not be turned away; we will merely laugh hard at you. And the entire point of it being prom will be COMPLETELY OBFUSCATED AND OTHERWISE MISSED, YOU JERKS.
FLYERS AND OTHER SATURATION OF THE LOCAL MEDIA/AVAILABLE ADVERTISING SPACES: coming soon.
Tell your friends. Do it now.

what i learned on my lunch break, part one

Jane magazine wanted to sell me this month's issue for $1.99 "because I'm cute."
Kiss you, Jane magazine? I HARDLY EVEN KNOW YOU.

from the stage at the Enon show last night

while Thunderbirds Are Now were onstage:

Random heckler: (inaudible)
Singer: "You guys really gotta come up with better heckling."
Different heckler: "I'M TALLER THAN YOU!"
Singer: "No you're not, dude. I can see you."

ps, for the uninitiated, Enon=Blonde Redhead with a bit more of a persistent beat, which=love. Free mp3s over here.

dear dictionary.com,

Please stop sending me definitions of words that I already know. Firstly, when I signed up for your fine daily services, I had no idea that it was going to be as erratic as Mary-Kate Olsen's menstrual cycle and some days I would get three definitions and other days I would get none and they all seemed to be posted at five in the morning, which gives me a mental picture of migrant workers in dusty basements slaving away at crazy hours over the American Heritage. Secondly, you used to be exciting. I used to look forward to memorizing your definitions and dropping big words in conversations and Impressing! my Friends! or possibly making enemies out of them because I am an ass! Like "fatidic!" "Of, relating to, or characterized by prophecy!" Fatidic was a great word!
And then you start sending me this "ingenuous"shit. Maybe it is because I am an ass, but I have been using "ingenuous" and "disingenuous" since I was, like, in seventh grade. And I have been smug about it sice the first time I used it. I had a conversation with an ex once wherein he disclosed that one of the reasons we were still friends was because I understood what the words he used meant. As funny as it was at the time, THIS WILL NO LONGER STAND. I AM THE ONE WITH THE BIG STUPID VOCABULARY. ME. MEEEEEEEEEEEE. I NEED TO ASSERT MY SUPERIORITY IN AT LEAST ONE THING OVER OTHER PEOPLE, DICTIONARY.COM. PLEASE SEND ME HARDER WORDS. YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPE.
sincerely,
Princess Leia

new arcade fire!

Don't say I never did anything nice for you:
The Arcade Fire-Cold Wind (right click, save as, xo.)

things i learned at my job, part three

There are parents out there who have named their children, respectively, "America" and "Virgin."

why i am very, very upset about the fact that no one i know has hbo

things i learned at my job, part two

Apparently I am important enough to warrant emails from the mayor. The mayor wants me to join/support the NAACP, which is funny on at least two levels.

my beautiful overactive imagination

Last night I watched the episode of The Wire in which D'Angelo explains, slowly and in minute detail, how he killed a woman six months prior at three in the morning by going to her window and tapping with the butt of his gun to get her attention and then shooting her through the window, and then later McNulty and another detective reenact the crime scene by throwing pictures of it around the floor and uttering various permutations of the word "fuck" for like five minutes straight. It was beautiful, and it didn't feel gimmicky at all.
But that's beside the point. I went to bed hoping against hope that I would be able to sleep, having been thrown back into the routine of work after a three day Grownup! Really! weekend and not adjusting well at all. I got in bed at around 11:00, completely exhausted, and slept. Around one in the morning, I swam back up from the depth of whatever fucked dream I was having, because someone was tapping on my wall. Really loudly. And I was convinced that I was GOING TO DIE and THERE WAS GOING TO BE A BULLET THROUGH THE MOTHERFUCKING WALL ANY SECOND AND maybe if I slept on the floor I'd be okay and maybe if I switched positions when they shot me it would just be through my ankle or something BUT NO THAT WOULD HURT AND I DON'T HAVE ANY INSURANCE I CAN'T BE SHOT AND KILLDED and (stereotype about drug dealers)(stereotype about drug dealers)(stereotype about drug dealers). This went on for about an hour, when I finally decided that they would have shot me if they were going to by now, and because of this nonsense I am exhausted again today.
Two morals, children:
1) I am an idiot
2) I will probably never, ever be able to watch The Ring.