obfuscated girl

dear dave grohl, i will totally purchase your underwear. sincerely, me.

There are a bunch of tour riders at The Smoking Gun, including that of the Foo Fighters.
"Artist shall not be required to share dressing room with any other performer, except Supergrass, Oasis, or maybe Led Zeppelin."
I forgive you for not making In Your Honor totally perfect now.
In other blind idol worship news, it also does not particularly matter that To The Five Boroughs was also not completely perfect, because I would like to hug the Beastie Boys. All of them.
Mike Diamond: Of course, I bring my young writing team in to sort of bounce, to "collabo" as I like to call it, on ideas.
Adam Yauch: Yeah, you gotta let people see you're on the street.
AVC: So maybe some reggaeton on the new one?
Adam Horowitz: A lot of reggaeton. Grunge is back, so we're doing the new grunge-reggaeton.
MD: Grunge-reggaeton hybrid, because we figured that will really cross over.

AY: The average has gone up.
AH: We'll be right around the new average.
AY: It's a mean average.
AH: "Mean average," you said?
AY: It's just some kind of math term I wanted to use. I don't really know what it means.

and, scene.

however

life's a bowl of candy you can have one, right? you can handle if tomorrow never come, right?

I'm pretty sure that I'm afraid of what comes next.

and furthermore in snakes on a plane

...The audio bit uses a Jackson sound-alike shouting, "I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!" Soon, the growing legion of fans added their voices as they demanded that that phrase also appear in the movie.

Apparently, the studio got the hint. When Ellis assembled Jackson and others for the recent shoot, the filmmakers added more gore, more death, more nudity, more snakes and more death scenes. And they shot a scene where Jackson does utter the line that fans have demanded.
Oh my god.

question of the day

So there is a band called What Made Milwaukee Famous. If they are from Austin, Texas, how do they know what made Milwaukee famous and I don't? Why have they never actually played Milwaukee? And is the answer beer? Because if it is I'm going to be really disappointed.

can't stop the signal

I have had a more or less functional internet for almost 24 hours straight now. A girl could get used to this. Also because the internet is (arguably) considerably more interesting than cleaning one's apartment.
For some reason someone who found this web page felt the need to translate it into German. Because of you, German person, I now know how to cuss in your mother tongue. Unless OH- FÜR SAKE DES BUMSENS is a weird literal translation.
And fear not, breathless public: I actually did go outside today, and once again there is proof at the photojournal woo!
For some reason, loneliness feels a lot more pretentious and severe when you have a camera:

still not talking about uw-milwaukee

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

I don't want to talk about UW-Milwaukee anymore.I need a blanket and a good cry.
Instead I will inform you, the breathless public, that there are new photos up at the photojournal because I sort of have an intermittent signal on my laptop now, and because I kind of accidentally sort of drank a bit of Jameson's last night and have not really felt much like moving anywhere, except to the grocery store to get ibuprofen and vitamin water. I don't understand St. Patrick's Day, really.
Here is a new picture from the photojournal:

ELEVENTH SEED!

UW-Milwaukee beat the sixth seed, bitches.
I am not even sure what a bracket is, but WE WON. SUCK ON IT, MARQUETTE.
I have no idea why I didn't pay attention to this stuff before. Also, I have no fingernails left.

i just learned this joke on the internet

Q: How many Ben Gibbards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Why bother? He'll just follow you into the dark.

OHMYGODTHATDOESN'TEVENMAKESENSE

oh, mcsweeneys

CONVERSATIONS I'VE HAD
DURING A NORMAL DAY
IN LOS ANGELES,
MODIFIED TO
INCLUDE THE SHOCKING
DEPICTION OF RACISM
FOUND IN PAUL HAGGIS'S
2004 FILM CRASH.

dear the oscars: i hate you.

-I love Jon Stewart so much. So much. "Three Six Mafia: 1, Scorcese: 0."
-Although whoever said that Three Six Mafia were the only ones there who actually looked excited
about winning or any of the proceedings was correct. Also, the hook and the singer? Kind of awesome.
-I never saw March of the Penguins and the fact that the producers or whoever it was brought stuffed penguins up for their acceptance speech kind of makes me really not want to.
-AND ANYWAY, MURDERBALL WUZ ROBBED.
-It's amazing that of all people Dolly Parton was the only one who did not have interperative dancers for her song.
-I hate the producers of Crash, I hate the writers of Crash, I hate Oprah for devoting an entire episode to talk about Crash, I hate the third of an episode that I saw of Charlie Rose at three in the morning talking to the bald guy who was a producer and writer of Crash, I hate anyone involved with that movie who is given a microphone and asked to talk about Crash or just starts talking about Crash and how they are racially sensitive and white and look how racially sensitive and white they are and how this is the most important film to ever exist ever and the people will not stand for it to be ignored of their own accord. Hate hate hate hate hate.
-I'm not even sure what should have won. What I do know is a burning hatred.
-Although: 6:27pm: The presentation of Crash's Best Original Song nominee, complete with burning cars and multiculti couples dancing among the flames (of racism, we assume), is roughly 300% more subtle than the movie itself.
-Also, I do not understand why they kept telling me to STOP RENTING DVDS and GO TO THE THEATER because there is NOTHING LIKE THE THEATER EXPERIENCE. I was JUST AT THE THEATER LAST NIGHT and I AM NOT DISAGREEING WITH YOU THAT IT WAS MUCH MORE WONDERFUL ON A BIG GIANT SCREEN; GET OFF MY BACK.
-as sweet and polarizing and unsurprising to my dad as George Clooney's I'm-glad-Hollywood-is-out-of-step speech was, and as loath as I am to criticize the father of my future babies, all I could think while he was delivering it was nice going, F.A.G."
-How is the Fifth Element an epic film?
-I do not think Jon Stewart is coming back.
-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.

this week in snakes on a plane

Whether or not Snakes on a Plane receives critical acclaim on the level of Brokeback Mountain is a moot point. Brokeback Mountain may have gay cowboys, but Snakes on a Plane has snakes. And a plane. It's such a natural combination; I can't help but wonder if the Wright Brothers had snakes in mind from the start. Regardless of their intentions, it has become obvious to me that planes were meant for snakes, and vice versa. Think of it like Romeo and Juliet, but with reptiles and aircraft.