obfuscated girl

your lover was for hire, have you noticed he's been late?

If anyone would like to provide me with one or more of the following, please feel free to do so (after the tone)?:

-brand-new, uncalloused feet
-an NCAA win for UW-Madison, goddammit
-a minumum of one (1) half-hour of cuddling
-a copy of Half Nelson
-or just Ryan Gosling, you know, whichever is more convenient
-more than three consecutive minutes of sunshine
-a cello
-dinner
-details on the whereabouts of my friends who never call me anymore
- a kitty
-job security

here is a much better picture of lake michigan

Dear the Internet:
I am drunk on cheap vodka, and tonight I witnessed a friend try to hit on a girl to questionable avail even though he gave her his crappy business card and was all charming and shit,, and that is all you need to know.

i been thinking some of suicide, but there's bars out here for miles

No, little journal that no one reads anyway unless they are googling either the word "blinkydoos" or various configurations of obscenities, I have not abandoned you for good. What I have been doing is WORKING, at a place where I ACTUALLY HAVE SO MUCH STUFF TO DO THAT I NO LONGER HAVE TIME TO WRITE SELF-PITYING JOURNAL ENTRIES OR READ ABOUT BRITNEY SPEARS' HAIR. THIS ELECTRIC BILL DOES NOT PAY ITSELF. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I have also been accidentally setting various things in my kitchen on fire and realizing that probably the reason I am never going to get married is because I would either accidentally poison or immolate my husband. I am fine with this.
I apparently do not have much to say when I am not whining about something. And even though I am not entirely positive yet how long this job is going to last or if it will turn into something permanent, but I am trying not to worry about the future so hard. I understand that there are people actually capable of doing this. For now I am just going to enjoy the fact that I get to go through security checkpoints every morning and walk by Lake Michigan every night when I walk home. Also the ice cream I am about to have for dinner. There is nothing you can do about that last part.

fat children took my life

I suppose I should write something.

My Valentine's Day consisted of feeling very much like Charlie Brown because I didn't hear anything from anyone, not even my family, and then getting annoyed with myself because it is a stupid arbitrary holiday and I discussed that with basically everyone I know in the first place so why should I expect anything, though the first words out of my friend's mouth when I gave him a Natalie Dee valentine that depicted gerbils saying "don't shit where you eat" was "Um, do you mind if I regift this?"

NO ONE LOVES ME.

Good things about this week:
Jarvis Cocker
and
Christina Aguilera's version of "It's A Man's Man's Man's World."
No, seriously.

maintenance

The Top Ten is updated again.

i'm on the curb smiling. remember this cause things are never that bad.

I saw these guys last night at this place and I do not think it could have been more perfect. That is, until the Attack Of The Wasted College Dudes Who Are Eight Feet Tall And Stood In Front Of Us And Got Really Excited And Went WOOOOO When Maritime [oh right, they played too] Sang 'Tie One On' Because Dude That Totally Means Like Getting Wasted. Also there were three twelve-year-olds (literally, it was an all-ages show) who started out by dramatically interpreting each song and air guitaring and then made motions like they were going to grab the girl's ass in front of them and then high-fiving each other and very abruptly stopped being adorable and I kind of wanted to shake them and go "WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER? WHO LET YOU STAY OUT THIS LATE? THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU DO." There was also the fact that the venue itself seemed to be a poor whitewashed (ha ha ha that works on at least two levels, see, cause Madison is really white) imitation of the place where I used to book bands, only with a capacity of about 300 more, and a great deal of the show was spent alternately glowering/fantasizing about what I could have done with a venue of that size. POINTLESS RIVALRY BETWEEN MADISON AND MILWAUKEE VERSION 753328 STARTS: NOW.
Anyway.
Here is an excellent Bound Stems interview.
AH: Are you very sad that the announcement "This is Grand" has been replaced by "This is Grand and State" on the Red Line?
JP: Devastated. Equally so with the Blue Line announcement that says, "This is Grand and Milwaukee". I've mentioned it to some higher-ups. We're coping.
And here is a Bound Stems song, from their first full-length, Appreciation Night :
Excellent News, Colonel
In other news, it is forty million degrees below zero outside.

NEVER FORGET.
I am going to go bang my head on something hard now.