obfuscated girl

SOMEONE IS ERASING MY LIBRARY FINES

SERIOUSLY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING I AM NOT HALLUCINATING OR REALLY BAD AT MATH THEY WERE UP TO $4.50 AND THEN I RETURNED A BOOK A WEEK LATE WHICH WOULD HAVE PUT ME OVER THE $5 MARK MEANING I CAN'T CHECK OUT ANY BOOKS AND NOW THEY ARE DOWN TO A DOLLAR AND 35 CENTS I AM MADE OF MAGIC

ALSO DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW AND WHERE TO GET A FIRMWARE UPDATE FOR A GPX MP3 PLAYER MODEL NUMBER MW3337 BECAUSE IT IS A PIECE OF CRAP AND DOING THINGS LIKE RANDOMLY SWITCHING SONGS MIDSONG WHILE CLAIMING IT IS STILL PLAYING THE SAME SONG AND I AM LIKE "NO"AND THERE MIGHT NOT BE ANYTHING TO UPDATE BECAUSE IT IS A PIECE OF CRAP AND ALL OF THE LINKS THAT I FOUND ABOUT IT ON THE INTERNET ARE BROKEN AND I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

PERHAPS IT IS TIME TO UPGRADE
LIKE BEYONCE
YES

THESE CAPS AND THIS INTERNET EXCITEMENT ARE BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
1. REALLY GOOD COFFEE
2. ALSO IT IS SORT OF LIKE A TELEGRAM THIS WAY
3. I AM NOT UNDERSLEPT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WHAT FEELS LIKE YEARS AND THE WHOLE WEEK HAS BEEN LIKE THIS EXCEPT YESTERDAY AND I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT YESTERDAY AND I THINK I JUST CONTRADICTED MYSELF
4. IT IS ALL SUNNY AND SHIT
5. MY BROTHER WILL BE HERE IN TWO HOURS AND WE ARE GOING TO SEE DEAD BABIES AND I BOUGHT BOTH HIS TICKET AND MY TICKET BECAUSE I STILL OWED HIM SOME MONEY FROM CHRISTMAS AND THE FACT THAT I CAN AFFORD TO SPEND $60 OR WHATEVER AND NOT THINK TOO HARD OR GET TOO SCARED ABOUT IT IS REALLY, REALLY RAD
6. GEORGE MICHAEL
I AM GOING TO BE 30 IN JULY I THINK THE FACT THAT I HAVE MADE IT THROUGH THREE DECADES RELATIVELY UNSCATHED MEANS THAT SOMEONE SHOULD GET ME A TICKET TO SEE HIM FOR MY BIRTHDAY
BECAUSE I LOVE HIM
A LOT

STOP*

*GET IT, CAUSE TELEGRAMS

Kanye West--Family Business

no, donny, these men are nihilists. there's nothing to be afraid of.

redacted: because it's a party truck
Poop
Ploop
Caca Puffs
Skubalon Cheney
Dumplestiltkskin
Plop Joe (R.I.P.)
Skatterboi
Tailies
Zagnut
Morla the Ancient One
Ben Stein's Expelled Bicameral Legislation
Log Jammin'
Skimbleshanks
Hegelian Zeitliche Entfaltung
Encyclopedia Brown
those are some names for poop
11:25 AM me: according to whom?
11:26 AM redacted: i just made them up
me: you...
are some kind of genius
are you very bored?
[...]
LATER THAT SAME DAY:
redacted: yes
you dont know this one
11:31 AM he's a designer
me: What does he design?
redacted: stuff for xbox, disney, bullshit
11:32 AM we built and wrote the website for "bratz the movie" together
me: what?
redacted: all of the characters' bios and stuff were written by us
ha
it was a disney movie
me: i know
redacted: about a line of dolls they sell
me: i just didn't know you did that?
redacted: i mean, i dont get paid
11:33 AM me: BRATZ IS YOUR FAULT?
redacted: ha sort of
but only the website portion
11:34 AM me: why did you do this thing of satan if you didn't even get paid dude
redacted: it's fun to just make shit up
11:35 AM when you're a receptionist all day
me: couldn't you have chosen something that did not teach 7 year old girls that hookers are awesome?
redacted: they need to learn sometime
11:36 AM me: i will now and in future be blaming you for all of society's continuing moral decay
redacted: well, as a nihilist i welcome your derision
11:37 AM me: you're just a nihilist because that means you don't have to accept responsibility for anything